Keep things in perspective, being able to know yourself and at the same time deal with others in an assertive way is never easy, but you can do it! 🙂
As a suggestion start by looking to yourself and find out which are the aspects that make people want to be your friend, work with you, be near you and even why people listen to what you have to say and value your opinion – just make a list…
As a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) analyse, now I will ask you to see all “the not so good things” that you have that make people not listening, not wanting to work with you or even not going out to the cinema – again make a list…
But what about what you want to be? What you want to change in you? In order to become a better person, a high level professional, to become YOU!
And don’t tell me you don’t believe it, change is part of each one of us – adaptation/changing is what Humanity does since the beginning of time, so it is possible, you just have to really want it and specially believe that you can make it happen.
So, make a list of what you want for you, it’s easy, go ahead… 🙂
After having your 3 list’s compare them and really identify who you are, for yourself and for other’s and take some time to stop and think where and who you really want to be.
Try to reflect in how you deal with stress situations, either emotionally or through your acts, with the need to express your opinion, with the feelings of others without forgetting your owns. See some more tips in http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/Assertiveness.htm and you can also make an easy test in one of these sites http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3195 or http://stress.about.com/library/assertiveness_quiz/bl_assertiveness_quiz.htm or anywhere else you want.
BUT a test do not define you! –> You do! – it is just a tool to help you to start this trip of knowing yourself and becoming the person you want to be, in order to give you self-confidence to achieve all the goals that you define during your life and make your day-to-day much more easy regarding Relations and the way you see the world and the world sees and understands you.
Try it! What do you have to lose? Maybe you discover something amazing about yourself and that really makes the difference to you in how you see yourself in the mirror every morning.